“The truth is that we don’t want to be saved in the way God has chosen; we want to keep absolute control over our every step, to be fully conscious of our decisions, to be capable of choosing the object of our devotion.”
-Father Giancarlo Fontana, The Witch of Portobello
Wiser words haven’t been spoken. We don’t want to hear what needs to be heard. We don’t want to accept what is in front of us. We don’t even want to go in search of it if it isn’t in front of us.
Yesterday I watched a TEDx video where Brené Brown gave an inspiring and witty speech on the topic of vulnerability. One of the things she talked about was how we are scared to own up to our vulnerabilities. We block them out so we can organize and focus our lives. In her research, when she looked at what she calls the ‘whole hearted’, people who knew the feeling of being loved and feeling secure, she found them to accept their vulnerabilities and loving their fears as important facets of their personalities.
I guess I could accept all my vulnerabilities here. Right now. And be done with it. But who am I fooling? That would just be me trying to control my every step towards acceptance and I would end up doing what Father Giancarlo said we do. I can tell you one thing: in my own way, I will write. Slowly and steadily acceptance will come.
I am no robot and I am no Godzilla trampling through the city of fears that live within. I am human, and repeating that over and over sometimes is the best assurance I can give myself.
If my voice isn’t echoing through the mountains of the blogsphere right now…what are you doing to accept your fears? Or better yet, what WILL you do to accept them and love them as part of you?
You are mine, of me
You cannot be forgiven
You will not be ignored
You and I are one
Your reeking fear is mine
Your screams of intolerance are mine
Your heart of sorrow is mine
Your rays of hope are mine
You, oh fear, can only be mine